Negations are judged by 3 criteria:
- Relationship health
A great agreement is defined by a negotiation’s durability, fairness, and its reciprocity.
A common negotiation is where two opposing parties exchange position of power. This type of negotiation emphasises on its competitive nature, which polarises the parties. Each of the parties wastes its energy to “win” the negotiation rather than addressing the problem. This is positional bargaining, where you either concede your position or you don’t.
On the flip side, principled negotiation follows the principles below and it focuses on distinguishing the people from the problem.
The two levels of negotiation
- Substances — the ‘what’
- Procedure — the ‘how’
Many people focus on just the substances of a negotiation but they neglect the procedure, which is critical.
There are 4 elements that make a negotiation wise, efficient and amicable:
- You need to separate the people and the problems. Nobody should take anything personally in a negotiation
- Focus on solving the problems, not winning a position
- Propose a few mutually beneficial options before reaching an agreement
- Set objective standards
Follow this 3-step process for a better negotiation:
- Analyse the situation and identity the problems for both parties
- Plan and come up with ideas. Decide your approach accordingly.
- Discuss and communicate the winning strategy with the other party.
Focus on cooperation, efficiency and effectiveness in negotiation. These are tips and tricks for you to reach better agreements in your business, career and relationships.
Don’t take everything personally
You want to reach a satisfactory agreement without while keeping a strong relationship with the other party. Be mindful with your words to not cause misunderstandings and inconsistencies.
Sharpen your skill by focusing on 3 things:
- Perception — whatever your opponents perceive is the truth, regardless of reality. Use empathy to bolster understanding and manage expectations. Frame your language and actions to appear as cooperative rather than being hostile. Separate people from problems, reframe your solution in an agreeable way that’s mutually beneficial.
- Emotion — survey and keep track of all parties’ feelings. Step into their shoes and see from their perspectives. Address everyone’s concerns accordingly.
- Communication — this is key. You want to talk with each other, not at each other. Practice active listening. Rephrase your opponent’s point in your own words to verify if you got it accurately. Build trust and improve the relationships with communication before you negotiate.
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